We are all too familiar with the setting portrayed on television news of the police chasing a driver who will not stop. The helicopter circles above, while the TV newscasters babble with foolish questions and comments, as we sit frustrated and impatient for the end to come.
Do we care about the person driving the car? Do we want to understand their situation or share with his life’s dilemma? Recently, I spoke with Sam, a client and volunteer at Catholic Charities in Oxnard, who nearly ended up as another victim by choice through “police-assisted-suicide.” Sam wrote his suicide note, selected a fake weapon and mentally envisioned the ending. His decision came at a low point in his life. After years of struggling, he had lost his job. His marriage was broken, as his wife left him taking his two young daughters. He was being evicted from his apartment and the car was about to go as well. Sam summed it up by saying, “I had hit rock bottom.”
Sam was born in Mexico. His mother immigrated to the Bakersfield area to work the fields. Sam never knew his father. At age 16, he hooked up with a bad crowd that got him thrown out of the house. Without money, Sam quickly found his friends were short-lived. By the grace of God, an angel came into his life at that time. Her name was Hope, an older friend of his mother. She saw some good in Sam and let him stay with her. Sam soon realized his mistakes, got it together and finished high school. Like too many young men, he fathered a child, Samantha, who now is married and a mother herself.
Sam worked for years in a Bakersfield winery, learning almost every job in the process, from picking grapes to winemaking. He moved to Oxnard with his wife and the two younger daughters, Denica and Brandy about ten years ago. Financially and personally there was a constant struggle, putting many pressures on his marriage. Employment came and went with low pay and limited security. Sam enjoyed becoming involved with the Child Development Center his daughters attended and joined the Board as a caring parent. He even attained a Medical Assistant Certificate. But recently he found himself alone after he lost his job and his wife left him.
Sam returned to Bakersfield to work picking grapes and saved $500 to buy a used car. On the way back to Oxnard he was stopped by the police for a broken tail light. It came to light that he had accumulated over $5,000 in fines. The car was confiscated since Sam had no way to pay the fines. With no car, Sam was finding the door closed on every employment opportunity. He soon became deeply depressed and begun to plan his suicide. Before he made the final step of “acquiring” a car for his police chase, he went to say good bye to his two daughters. It was their smiles and warm expressions of love and pride in their father that convinced him that God did not want him to die. Sam realized that, “God must have a better purpose for me.”
Sam visited Catholic Charities’ Oxnard office and discussed his situation with Janet DePrima. Janet was aware that the court would allow Sam to work off his fines by performing volunteer work at Catholic Charities, cleaning up, maintenance, handing out food. After working the past four months at Catholic Charities, Sam has fit in very well and has been an inspiration to all he comes in contact with. Sam has a court date to get his driver’s license reinstated. He is full of hope and expects that by next year he will be gainfully employed, erasing his past debt and continuing to be involved in his daughters’ education. He hopes his story will move others to recognize their own value and make positive changes in their lives.